Moe Tank

[girlfriend_dot_exe]

 1-[Driver recruitment]

Good morning everyone! I need some help testing out Clementine, now that it's complete. I'll need sample human drivers to copy the movements of, and also take over if I make any mistakes.

2-[Later in the day, ALICE took the tank out for a spin on her own. And it's not too long before she sends out an emergency distress call...]

Um, please come quickly! I need help!

[And indeed she does need help. Clementine has landed in a city pool, the tank's back half under water in the shallow end, while the front half sticks out of the water, propped up by the edge of the pool.]

Aah! Don't climb on that!

[Alice's plaintive cries do nothing to stop the local children from climbing all over the bright orange tank.]


3-[Well, Caulder had to pay a fine for the damage to the pool. It was reduced a bit by agreeing to have Alice perform 50 hours of community service, which she is now carrying out. You can find her and the tank working in a quarry blasting rock, pulling loads of junk at the landfill, or working in town as part of the special transit service-that is to say, impromptu public transit for the elderly and disabled.]

I wasn't made for this at all...

Comments

3

[link_to_revival]

[And the newly-repaired VeHA's now just standing over to the side, watching Alice work off the damage.]

You're an AI with human-level intelligence. Growing beyond your original intent comes with the territory.

Besides, this isn't too bad. You don't have to sleep, so you can get your service done in just a few days.

[The VeHA then plants a Fragarach in the rocks and detonates the sword, blowing some more out. AIs had to stick together! Besides, volunteering to help out felt like something Lynn might have suggested.]

Re: 3

[girlfriend_dot_exe]

I guess so.

[Boom. There goes another shelf of rock. They'll come in way ahead of schedule on this job with the robots' help.]

I'd still rather be working the financial markets, though. There's just so little information here...

[link_to_revival]

Be patient. And think about the applications of what a new quarry might have.

Besides, how good are you playing the stock market?

1

[paladin_robot]

Well... Tanks and Knightmare Frames have a number of the same base mechanics, due to the latter evolving from the former. Plus, I'm an engineer, so... will I do?

Re: 1

[girlfriend_dot_exe]

Sure!

Re: 1

[paladin_robot]

Alright then...

[Richard's gonna try and clamber up inside... assuming he can find the hatch.]

1

[alwaysmyturn]

No problem! I've got more hours in tank combat games than I can count, so let's get to it!

Re: 1

[girlfriend_dot_exe]

Awesome!

[And in you go! The interior of Clementine has more in common with a luxury sports car than a war machine-all black leather, a fine wood finish, cupholders, etc. It's kept at a cool tempurature inside, and the displays inside are all sleek high-tech things. There's even a tiny Alice inside, who gives Neptune a slight wave.]

[alwaysmyturn]

Yo, this is really fancy for a tank...lemme just plonk myself down over here...

[Plonk.]

That's a lot more stuff on the HUD than I remember, too!

2

[emorangerpink]

[Laura floats over the scene in The Great Pretender for a little while before radioing Alice. At least the appearance of a flying knight in silver armour wreathed in rainbow mist might get some of the kids to leave the tank alone.]

...How did you end up there?

Re: 2

[girlfriend_dot_exe]

Well, I was executing a series of jumps, and I think I miscalculated the drag coefficient...

[emorangerpink]

Jumps! Isn't that a bit reckless in the middle of a city?

Well, let me see if I can help... hmmm...

[Laura is strong, after all, but it's still a tank, and under the circumstances needs careful handling. She floats down to the submerged part to check where she might be able to apply a conjured lever.]

Kids, it's dangerous here! You need to move back!

2

[armored_mother]

...

[Well. This was a very absurd situation.]

ALICE. How did you even get stuck here?

[Cora's off to the side in her Dullahan - helmet open.]

Re: 2

[girlfriend_dot_exe]

Ah, there's a perfectly good explanation for that!

[By now, a few reporters have stopped by and are taking pictures.]

[armored_mother]

Ooof course there is...

[And she's going to hook up the grapple cable to the tank to see if she can tow it out - she's carefully scattered the kids that were swarming all over the awesome tank.]

Mind telling me while I try to get you out of the pool?

[She's walking a fair distance before starting to pull at the cable.]

3)

[wardeninexile]

"I cannot say this is expected."

Ranna says from the top of the quarry, her mech powered down besides her.

2

[hammerinhero]

Yuu's standing atop a nearby telephone pole like some kinda badass ninja, surveying the scene.

"Yep. Should have added Fists of Justice."

1

[tookthepill]

Can't I do it, Allie?

Re: 1

[girlfriend_dot_exe]

Sure!

Re: 1

[tookthepill]

[ Without wasting another second, Caulder opens the hatch, and enters. Immediately, he's in awe. It's clear no expense was spared; he recognized a set-up for being hooked up to the White Rabbit, meaning most of this equipment could be hooked up to her AI network for less distractions for the driver. The hologram was a nice touch, too.

It really had it all. Speed that rivaled most conventional mechs, the ability to jump, a point-defense pulse laser to intercept most type of missiles, a payload of its own rockets and missiles, a phase-shift system, and a main railgun cannon that looked like it could blow a hole clean through most types of mechs. And the manually controlled systems... looked like a video game controller. She really pulled out all the stops, didn't she?

He was in awe. But it did beg the question... ALICE was developed by IDS's weapons development branch, not for it. He didn't even know she could design something like this. He knew all about her evolving AI and her ability to seamlessly download and integrate any information she gains from machines or databases she's hacked. Maybe she gained this ability when she hacked that Black Gangroot thing? Obviously, she can't copy the machine replication system, but maybe it made her capable of designing a technological marvel like this. If Caulder worked for IDS's R&D department, he'd be very, very worried about the future of his job right now. If the board of directors saw this, they'd all get laid off and replaced by her. ]

This is... incredible!

1

[gudbye_despair]

I've never driven such a cute girl before.

Re: 1

[girlfriend_dot_exe]

Hey, don't say it that way, people will think...weird things!

Re: 1

[gudbye_despair]

You're right.

So, how does this three way relationship work? We both doing Clementine at the same time? Or you're going to do Clementine and I'm going to work on you?

I've never done this two-on-one thing before. This is so exciting.

1

[saikyocivrobo]

[Here, have Prometheus standing proud in a leader-y pose, Epimetheus looking like he was dragged into this, and a bunch of Servbots. And possibly some other tiny robots.]

Re: 1

[girlfriend_dot_exe]

...Huh?