Shellshock and Horror / The fracturing of a Hero

[aesopunbroken.livejournal.com]

[After the events at the DC base have unfolded Mad just rushed to her room as quickly as possible. She was clutching herself tightly, she was curled up into a ball. But she was doing her best not to cry. She was failing badly of course. The tears were still there and she was choking back sobs.. but whenever she did noticed she would just rub her eyes and shut them tightly and try to force herself to stop.]

Fuck...fuck... those...what the fuck were those... goddamn...

[She's struggling to get her emotions into check, but it was near impossible with how hysterical a state she's worked herself into.]

Comments

[sunshine_maiden]

[The girl smiles faintly.] Physically, maybe. But you're as depressed about all this as the rest of us, right? Or as I am, at least?

[Sora lets out a sigh, her smile dropping to a worried expression.] I just... this is the second time. So many people, and I was standing right there... At least it wasn't a nuke this time.

[aesopunbroken.livejournal.com]

They all still died... goddamn... wh..what the fuck happened back there... those things just ripped through us like fucking nothing...

[That powerlessness was not helping Mad's situation at all. She knew she was BAD before, but this just hammered in how useless she really was in the long run.]

[sunshine_maiden]

I don't know. They were strong, and you're right, we didn't stand a chance. If it hadn't been for those two from Adventus showing up, we'd all be dead, I think.

[Her expression turns pensive.] But... there were people much better at fighting than you or I out there, and they lost the same way. Maybe there's some kind of trick, or they're special somehow...? [Anything to rationalize this as something other than "you still suck even after coming this far."]

[aesopunbroken.livejournal.com]

... maybe... just wish those two could've got there faster... they could've saved those people..

[She saw what they pulled off... Adventus. She heard about them during her travels. If if wasn't for their eventual goal she might've joined them first rather than the Chalice.]

[sunshine_maiden]

I agree wholeheartedly. I'm going to give them a piece of my mind when I see them next - there had better be a damn good reason they didn't show up sooner. If they showed up when they did to grandstand...

[Sora doesn't finish her thought, but the look in her eyes promises there will be hell to pay. After a moment, though, she sighs and tries to put her anger aside.]

That's not why I came here, though. I was worried, y'know. I always worry, when someone I know goes out there... but especially with how beaten up we got today.

[aesopunbroken.livejournal.com]

...Why worry about me... I'm fine. You can see that...

[Trying to be strong, failing badly. Just another addition to Mad's list.]

[sunshine_maiden]

Mm-mm. I don't see that. I see a girl that blames herself for everything that happened today, and she's hurting because of that. And I don't blame you; I would have, too, in you'd position. The last time something like this happened to me, I was inconsolable for days.

But you have to understand that this is not your fault, Mad. Grieve for the lost if you like, cry for the unfairness of it all. But don't take it as a personal failure. It isn't.

[aesopunbroken.livejournal.com]

... Making no promises here Red...

[She gives the irgelion magical girl a sidelong look before sighing tiredly.]

If I wasn't barred from the kitchen.... swear to god I'd be doing an ice-cream raid now.

[sunshine_maiden]

I know. Don't worry about it. Just... try and let it go. [Her smile turns scary...] And even if they're keeping you out of the kitchen, I'm under no such restrictions. Be right back.

[And sure enough, just a few minutes later, Mad can hear shouting down the hallway, and female laughter; after a moment, she gets to Mad's room and shuts the door behind her, taking a moment to catch her breath. True to her word, she's holding two large bowls of ice cream.]

There. Done.

[aesopunbroken.livejournal.com]

Thanks...

[With that Mad took one of the bowls and ate. Quickly. The ice cream headache she had was clearly visible - Sora can see her wincing.. but at least she was feeling better.]

[sunshine_maiden]

[Sora doesn't even start into her ice cream right away; she just sits down, leans her elbows on her legs, and rests her head on her hands... looking straight at Mad, just watching her with a smile on her face.]