(no subject)

[themomentoftherose]

[1//Network]

I've found an unused storage room and fixed it up to be...I suppose you'd call it a place of reflection. I installed sound insulation on the walls and soft carpeting [Though the Stalkers carried it there, but not actually into the room.] There's a small window that can be opened or shut, with heavy curtains. The overall atmosphere is quite peaceful, I think.

I suppose you could call it a place for reflection, or meditation, or praying. Use it as you like.

[2]

Later, Oenone can be found exactly there, with the curtains open to the midday sun. The light through the glass doors gives it a church-like atmosphere.

She prays there, not for forgiveness (it's either infinite and thus asking is unneccesary, or finite and thus impossible for her) but perhaps for two things: one that the consequences of the action she's taken don't hurt Kensuke, two for the peace of the dead man's soul, and three for guidance on what is right to do next.

Answers don't seem to come though. Perhaps the voice of God has been silenced by the wicked works of man again. Perhaps she contributed a bit to that herself in the past week.

[3/Private to Kamille]

After asking him up to Shortening Of The Way, she rounds on him with an expression of exasperation the gentle doctor rarely shows.

"Kamille...I can't believe someone who grew up under the Titans would show that level of...of stupid machismo!"

Meaning: he should have learned the lessons of how to be discreet, as it seems everyone who grew up under a dictatorship but him has.

[4/Private to Raynor]

Hello Mister Joz. I'm Surgeon-Mechanic Oenone Zero, of the Green Storm's Ressurection Corps. I have something for you, when you have some time.

[5/Private to Richard]

I'm almost finished. I'll be inviting him up to fit it today.

Comments

[zetahatsudo]

It's fine, he'll just make due with crying into your easily accessible shoulder. It's been a stressful time for him, and he's just letting all those emotions flow out.

[themomentoftherose]

She strokes his hair, as if he were one of her birds. When he's all done, she turns a bit to face him and gives him a wan little smile. "Better?"

[zetahatsudo]

It takes a while, but when he's finally done, he just nods silently and sits, not trusting himself to speak at the moment.

[themomentoftherose]

"There's a kind of tea that helps stress and provides a mild euphoric feeling. Would you like some?" That's right, White Chalice. Little miss diligent, sweet, Christian nature-Communist can brew up that 'herbal medicine' like nobody's business.

[zetahatsudo]

Kamille nods. After stressing over all the shit that's happened thus far, he could use some relaxation.

[themomentoftherose]

She unlocks the cupboard and removes two cups, a teapot, a large tea ball and a small tin. Jasmine, oolong tea, and a strange, rich, pungent scent mingle in it. She spoons some into each tea ball. Canned sweet milk and water are then poured in to the pot, which is heated on a little hot plate. The result is a hot beverage that can soothe a troubled mind. She pours each cup, takes hers and blows on it several times before taking a small sip.

[zetahatsudo]

Kamille takes his cup, and sips it briefly as he relaxes in his chair. "You know," he says quietly after a few moments, "the worst part of all this crap, all the secrets and shit, was that I couldn't even be straight up with my feelings with Haman or Char. I had to dance around the issue with both of them, and now I don't think I'll be able to do it on this ship again."

[themomentoftherose]

Oenone too sips on hers, not minding the slightly bitter taste. She sits across from him.

"All three of you are newtypes, right? Can't you communicate your feelings to them that way?"

[zetahatsudo]

Kamille snorted derisively. "Whoever said that Newtypes can understand each other better should be shot." He takes another sip. "All I can get from those two out of battle is emotions. You'd THINK that'd make things simpler, but it just makes things that much more awkward when you can feel the blackness choking your friend's heart and they're totally unaware of it." He sighed in resignation as he leaned back into his chair. "Honestly, I had an easier job of understanding oldtypes like you or the others than Haman Karn or Char Aznable." He looked into his tea. "There was... one Newtype I felt a stronger connection to than others, but she's dead now. Not even a real Newtype from what I understand."

[themomentoftherose]

"I see. That does sound a lot more difficult than it looks at first glance." She wondered if perhaps there was a secret darkness on Kamille's heart too. She paused with her cup raised halfway to her lips. "A...cyber newtype? That doesn't mean she wasn't real. From my perspective as a scientist there's no inherent difference between a mutation induced by deliberate action and one caused by accident..."

[zetahatsudo]

If that darkness is there, he can't see it without outside aid. Kamille shook his head. "You couldn't call her a Newtype at the end of the day, not after what the Innovades did to her." He couldn't begin to imagine what Kyrios's Solar Furnace did to the poor girl. "What I felt with her was real enough, science be damned." He sipped his tea. "What happened out there... I came back a different person. Before then, I had been all over the place, leaning this way and that, looking for some cause that I could throw myself behind, anything to escape the suffocation I was feeling at home. I was a goddamn mess." A bitter laugh parses through his lips. "Well, maybe that much hasn't changed." He frowned. "I found my cause to champion, but the price to pay was far too steep."

[themomentoftherose]

"Kamille..." She didn't know quite what to say. Given a little time she could; she was articulate and sensitive enough. But first she'd try an easier way, if it was possible. "Could sense my feelings if I decided to broadcast them?"

[zetahatsudo]

"Oenone?" Kamille blinked in confusion as he set his tea aside. You may as well go for it, he's not saying anything, so it's likely his silence is a yes on his part.

[themomentoftherose]

She concentrated and closed her eyes. If he opened his newtype senses, he'd feel caring, acceptance...and unbeknownst even to her, something that was probably a bit more than just friendship.

[zetahatsudo]

Kamille closed his eyes, taking in Oenone's emotions as he sat back into his chair. As he found himself relaxing under the presence of this woman, he caught something strange in the torrent. 'Wait, what the hell was that?' He couldn't work his mind around it. It felt... familiar, somehow. He'd felt it... maybe twice before, but he couldn't recognize it. Slowly, he got out of his chair, approaching Oenone in an attempt to gain a better understanding of what he was feeling.

Oenone, Kamille's out of the chair, eyes closed, and moving to you. How do you react?

[themomentoftherose]

Not at all because her eyes are also closed. Oh crap, watch out...

1/2

[zetahatsudo]

That's right, he felt this way twice now. Once was in the dead of night onboard the Ptolemaois, after snatching and copying a certain set of classified documents. It had been tainted with darker emotions, and he was still shell-shocked by the revelations contained in the documents, but he felt it all the same from Char and Haman.

As he got closer, he was able to discern where else he had felt this emotion. Sora had been many things to Kamille, a stable element in his life where none was previously, something to actually fight for without being tainted by the ambitions of those who would subjugate this world. As he remembered those times, when he was an fool with nothing to fight for, he found himself caught in the whirlwind of his mistakes. Everything he could of possibly done wrong, he did, every reminder of those mistakes magnified in his mind. There was nothing he could do, no way to fix what had been broken, and it hurt.

2/2

[zetahatsudo]

It hurt.

It hurt.

It hurt it hurt it hurt it hurt

ithurtithurtithurtithurtithurtithurtithurtithurtithurtithurtithurtithurt-

Suddenly Kamille found himself collapsing on the floor of the room, gripping his head in a desperate attempt to stop the emotional pain he was feeling in the form of physical agony.

WHY THE FUCK DID I HIT THAT MAN, I SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN SO IMPATIENT, STUPID STUPID STUPID- Kamille couldn't open his mouth to scream because he was paralyzed at this point by his own self-loathing. Oenone, you may need to open your eyes and help him somehow.

[themomentoftherose]

That would take a moment. She opened her eyes, expecting a Kamille who was weirded out at the very worst. He wasn't even there though.

She looked all around and then nearly tripped over him when she got up.

She shot to her knees and did a fast vital signs check, her fingers touching the artery on his neck. Pulse high but within normal range.

"Kamille, can you hear me? What's wrong?"

No wonder. My hands are so bloodstained I cause newtypes to collapse.

[zetahatsudo]

Oenone, you wished that you were the reason Kamille was having this attack. No, the fault lied within Kamille himself. His mind was attacking itself, his psyche collapsing at the very thought that someone might actually give a damn about his emotional well-being beyond simple friendship.

FATHER HATES US, MOTHER IS APATHETIC AT BEST, FOUR DIED, AND YOU FUCKED IT UP WITH SORA! YOU HAD TO GET TOSSED INTO THE OCEAN TO GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEAD THAT YOU FUCKED UP! FACE IT, YOU'RE WORTHLESS AS AN ENGINEER, YOU'RE WORTHLESS AS A HUMAN BEING, YOU'RE WORTHLESS AS A MOBILE SUIT PILOT! JUST DIE! DIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIE-

Shit, his heart is going into cardiac arrest-!

[themomentoftherose]

As Oenone knelt down, she could hear the chatter of distant and angry thoughts, like being in a room full of angry ghosts. He was broadcasting hard, and even a complete oldtype like her could pick some of it up.

Oh Kamille...

But what could she do for him? He wasn't a Stalker, who she could just slot the correct replacement parts into.

She decided to, for once, turn her analytical approach off. She'd never given herself the luxury of acting on her emotions before. It had always been too dangerous. But now it wasn't a luxury, but a necessity. Trying desperately not to think, she closed her eyes, determined to do whatever it is her heart told her was a good idea.

And leaned forward and kissed him, a little clumsily.

Damnit, heart.

[zetahatsudo]

DI- Kamille's eyes snap open. His self-loathing silenced, he wonders to himself if he isn't already dead, and this is just a taste of heaven before hell comes to take him. His luck would not allow for this to happen, his karma was already heavily stained with his errors, there couldn't possibly be reward for his actions. He didn't stop Oenone though. He stayed still, not making a move, hoping beyond hope that this would not end, because he was scared of the reality that awaited him.

[themomentoftherose]

Well that at least stopped whatever that was. Or at the least he was no longer 'broadcasting' it. But his heart rate had normalized as well.

Oh was she still kissing him. Her train of thought not only ground to a halt, it derailed, killing several pedestrians. After extensive repairs, she managed to pull away and squeeze his hand.

"Kamille? Are you there? Please speak to me or I'll have to run a CAT scan."

Kissing him. What was I thinking? Oh, right, I was trying to go with what my heart said. She mentally crossed 'going with what your heart says' off her list of things to ever do again.

[zetahatsudo]

She stopped, why did she- Oh, he wants her to speak to her then! "Oenone-!" And now he's gone and smashed his lips against you! HIS SWITCH WAS FLIPPED, WHAT DO!?

[themomentoftherose]

She broke out in a big smile which was interrupted by him kissing her again. Her eyes went wide (having never learned the ettiquette that says you should close them when you kiss someone) and her heart thumped against her ribcage as if it wanted to break free and go bouncing around the room like Daffy Duck. She returned the kiss, her fingers curling against his shoulders. She had no idea what she was doing.