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[1//Network]

I've found an unused storage room and fixed it up to be...I suppose you'd call it a place of reflection. I installed sound insulation on the walls and soft carpeting [Though the Stalkers carried it there, but not actually into the room.] There's a small window that can be opened or shut, with heavy curtains. The overall atmosphere is quite peaceful, I think.

I suppose you could call it a place for reflection, or meditation, or praying. Use it as you like.

[2]

Later, Oenone can be found exactly there, with the curtains open to the midday sun. The light through the glass doors gives it a church-like atmosphere.

She prays there, not for forgiveness (it's either infinite and thus asking is unneccesary, or finite and thus impossible for her) but perhaps for two things: one that the consequences of the action she's taken don't hurt Kensuke, two for the peace of the dead man's soul, and three for guidance on what is right to do next.

Answers don't seem to come though. Perhaps the voice of God has been silenced by the wicked works of man again. Perhaps she contributed a bit to that herself in the past week.

[3/Private to Kamille]

After asking him up to Shortening Of The Way, she rounds on him with an expression of exasperation the gentle doctor rarely shows.

"Kamille...I can't believe someone who grew up under the Titans would show that level of...of stupid machismo!"

Meaning: he should have learned the lessons of how to be discreet, as it seems everyone who grew up under a dictatorship but him has.

[4/Private to Raynor]

Hello Mister Joz. I'm Surgeon-Mechanic Oenone Zero, of the Green Storm's Ressurection Corps. I have something for you, when you have some time.

[5/Private to Richard]

I'm almost finished. I'll be inviting him up to fit it today.

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He seems genuinely confused. She sighs and thinks she's going to have to explain it to him. Her dealings with him so far have given her the erroneous impression that he's a boy with an average amount of common sense.

"When you're fighting an organization as big and powerful as NERV, you can't just kill their members in public. You have to be discreet and...deceptive. You're weak and they're strong." She thinks this is probably a condition most men have been taught not to accept. "By killing that tech, you put us all in danger. Not to mention you strained relations between them, Zeon and the Storm." She'd had to make so many promises she wouldn't stalkerize the corpse.

Kamille sighed. So this was how this was going to play out after all.

"I never should have killed him." It might have seemed like a token response due to the lack of emotion behind it, it wasn't because he didn't bother to put any into it. It was because he COULDN'T. "The man grabbed Kensuke to restrain him, I acted instinctively to Ken's panic." He couldn't give out an emotional response because he was drained completely by the events within the EVA cage and the fight against the inspector.

He wouldn't say more. Not yet. He had to hear what Oenone had to contribute before he could state his piece.

"Well, i'm glad you understand what went wrong." She'd expected him to snap back at her, to fight her on this. His defeated look took the wind out of her sails. "Just please promise me you won't act so rashly in the future? All our safety depends on acting very carefully." She shuddered to think what might have happened if this hadn't occurred after Stalker Fang died. The loyalists would have made common cause with NERV and from there, nothing good could happen.

If anything Kamille just sunk that much lower upon hearing her words, as if disappointed somehow. "If that's all you have to say," Kamille let out, "then I'll head back to my room, Dr. Zero." That... was a first. Kamille never really used her last name when speaking with Oenone. He got out of his seat and turned to move.

Don't think she didn't notice. Kamille Bidan, master of emotional Aikido had unbalanced her with her own momentum.

"Wait." She got up and tugged on his arm. "You seem like you've got something weighing on you. Is it something you want to talk about? No more admonishments, I promise."

Wrong move, Oenone. "You seemed to hit the nail on the when you talked to me, we both know what went wrong." Have you ever had Kamille angry at you, Doctor? It's not fun. "I really see no point in being here if all you wanted to do was rehash the same thing I've been thinking about since the moment everything went to shit in the EVA Cage." He yanks his arm away. "Zeon's gone to shit anyway, there's no point saving it, so let Nerv and Axis point their god-damn guns at each other for all I care." And this is likely more news for Oenone, as Kamille always seemed to be supportive of his Axis compatriots. Something had changed about this, obviously.

That cut her to the quick. But it seemed illogical with his previous actions. He was so hyped up about being part of Axis Zeon until recently. What had changed him?

"I don't believe you mean that. You may not approve of everything the Regent does, but you're passionate about the welfare of your people and proud to wear that uniform."

She knew treason. She'd killed Revered Leader The Stalker Fang twice now. Kamille hadn't reached anything like that point yet.

Kamille is still. Then, he starts to shiver visibly, and unable to contain it anymore, he starts laughing. He laughs a pained, tortured laughter, the sort of sound that only comes from people trying to stay sane in ludicrous situations. It appears you're about to be proven wrong again, Oenone.

He stands up to his full height, towering over the smaller doctor as his strangled howls come to a halt, only to give way to something else. "You don't believe I can mean that?" He speaks softly, as if starting to build up to something big. "How can I not, when Haman was willing to allow test-tube baby cyber newtypes to be created as tools of war!" Yet another thing he'd kept secret from most everyone. "Their growth was sped up just to make deadlines meet for the fight against the Titans' Mobile Dolls, and the adverse affects could mean that even if they survive, they'll never be able to live normal lives off of the battlefield." He's picking up momentum, and it doesn't look like he's going to be stopping. "How can I not commit treason, when Haman and Char prove themselves to be the exact same morons I've been trying to protect the spacenoids from!?"

From the look of it, he's felt this way for some time now. "It was never about 'Zeon'!" Kamille rounds on Oenone with the force of a ravenous beast, spitting the name out like it was something foul. "What I was doing was for the spacenoids, the people living under the rule of the Titans!" He rips the symbol of Zeon off of his jacket with great force, clutching the ruins of Haman's handwoven gift tightly in his hands. "But its because of the Titans that I learned that I was just supporting the same damn Zabi-based Fascism that wound up screwing us over in the One Year War to begin with!" He tosses the symbol aside like garbage. "Char Aznable, the man who wanted to bring a golden age to the spacenoids, was quoting GIHREN ZABI TO MY FACE!" Gihren Zabi, of course, being one of THE most horrible human beings to ever walk the face of the earth. "He talks about finding the promised land of spacenoids, then goes and proves to be the exact same damn thing he fought against in the first place!" He's letting a lot of frustration out here, sharing many things that he had been keeping secret from a lot of people.

If you'll look into his eyes, Oenone, you'll notice that he's tearing up. "I wanted so desperately to protect them from themselves, to save them from the monsters they had proclaimed themselves to be." His breath hitches a moment. "Haman believes she can never wear white, because it symbolizes a purity she can't have again, and Char, even if he hated the Zabis, he wanted to create a world where Mineva could grow up without the trappings of the Zabi name, and could live in peace." He forces his eyes shut, and when he opens them again, the anger comes back full force. "But now, Char has nothing but Hate in his heart, and wants the world to burn, and he's more than willing to use Zeon to do it." He's looking right at you, Oenone, and its like he's looking right into your soul. "I'm going to have to fight them, Dr. Zero. I'm going to have to fight them, and I'm likely going to have to kill them if they don't back down! I have to kill the closest thing I have in this world to older siblings, and deprive Mineva of her foster parents, just so that the Earth doesn't have to fear the name Zeon ever again!"

And there it is, Oenone. The stress from the last battle and the incident in the EVA cage had stretched Kamille incredibly thin, and now its all he can do not to hate himself for being put into his position. Your move.

Edited 2013-07-16 12:10 (UTC)

She's a bit taken aback. But she thinks she understands what's going on now. Poor boy's been bottling all this up and now it's spilling out in a rant, like a volcano obliterating a village at its foothills.

Alright, she decides. She's guilted him enough. "Kamille..." She reaches out to pull him into a hug. "Alright. I understand how you feel." She'd killed Stalker Fang twice, after all. "If that's what you think is right for your people, I trust you." She says, if he allows her.

Edited 2013-07-16 22:32 (UTC)

"O-Oenone..." And we're back to first name basis as he's pulled into a hug. "Oenone, I'm afraid." He whispers to her in shudders as the tears fall. "If that happened to Char, to Haman, if their souls are so horribly tainted by hate, what if it happens to me?"

She has to consider the answer to that for a few seconds, during which time she wishes she were taller so he could lean on her shoulder. "...Only a human can fear turning into a monster." She means sentient beings with consciences in general, of course.

It's fine, he'll just make due with crying into your easily accessible shoulder. It's been a stressful time for him, and he's just letting all those emotions flow out.

She strokes his hair, as if he were one of her birds. When he's all done, she turns a bit to face him and gives him a wan little smile. "Better?"

It takes a while, but when he's finally done, he just nods silently and sits, not trusting himself to speak at the moment.

"There's a kind of tea that helps stress and provides a mild euphoric feeling. Would you like some?" That's right, White Chalice. Little miss diligent, sweet, Christian nature-Communist can brew up that 'herbal medicine' like nobody's business.

Kamille nods. After stressing over all the shit that's happened thus far, he could use some relaxation.

She unlocks the cupboard and removes two cups, a teapot, a large tea ball and a small tin. Jasmine, oolong tea, and a strange, rich, pungent scent mingle in it. She spoons some into each tea ball. Canned sweet milk and water are then poured in to the pot, which is heated on a little hot plate. The result is a hot beverage that can soothe a troubled mind. She pours each cup, takes hers and blows on it several times before taking a small sip.

Kamille takes his cup, and sips it briefly as he relaxes in his chair. "You know," he says quietly after a few moments, "the worst part of all this crap, all the secrets and shit, was that I couldn't even be straight up with my feelings with Haman or Char. I had to dance around the issue with both of them, and now I don't think I'll be able to do it on this ship again."

Oenone too sips on hers, not minding the slightly bitter taste. She sits across from him.

"All three of you are newtypes, right? Can't you communicate your feelings to them that way?"

Kamille snorted derisively. "Whoever said that Newtypes can understand each other better should be shot." He takes another sip. "All I can get from those two out of battle is emotions. You'd THINK that'd make things simpler, but it just makes things that much more awkward when you can feel the blackness choking your friend's heart and they're totally unaware of it." He sighed in resignation as he leaned back into his chair. "Honestly, I had an easier job of understanding oldtypes like you or the others than Haman Karn or Char Aznable." He looked into his tea. "There was... one Newtype I felt a stronger connection to than others, but she's dead now. Not even a real Newtype from what I understand."

"I see. That does sound a lot more difficult than it looks at first glance." She wondered if perhaps there was a secret darkness on Kamille's heart too. She paused with her cup raised halfway to her lips. "A...cyber newtype? That doesn't mean she wasn't real. From my perspective as a scientist there's no inherent difference between a mutation induced by deliberate action and one caused by accident..."

If that darkness is there, he can't see it without outside aid. Kamille shook his head. "You couldn't call her a Newtype at the end of the day, not after what the Innovades did to her." He couldn't begin to imagine what Kyrios's Solar Furnace did to the poor girl. "What I felt with her was real enough, science be damned." He sipped his tea. "What happened out there... I came back a different person. Before then, I had been all over the place, leaning this way and that, looking for some cause that I could throw myself behind, anything to escape the suffocation I was feeling at home. I was a goddamn mess." A bitter laugh parses through his lips. "Well, maybe that much hasn't changed." He frowned. "I found my cause to champion, but the price to pay was far too steep."

"Kamille..." She didn't know quite what to say. Given a little time she could; she was articulate and sensitive enough. But first she'd try an easier way, if it was possible. "Could sense my feelings if I decided to broadcast them?"

"Oenone?" Kamille blinked in confusion as he set his tea aside. You may as well go for it, he's not saying anything, so it's likely his silence is a yes on his part.

She concentrated and closed her eyes. If he opened his newtype senses, he'd feel caring, acceptance...and unbeknownst even to her, something that was probably a bit more than just friendship.