A Soldier's Defeat

[vjockey.livejournal.com]

[After the last mission, Cheng has been utterly brutalized and battered. His machine was utterly totaled and to top it off this was all a consequence of a contract he made with Maya and had NOT utilized to its fullest extent. Many broken bones, with everything he had with him in the worst state imaginable. And this was merely the physical injuries.

He now knows that somewhere out there is a man with a grudge against his family, out to kill him for reasons unknown. And that by extension once he awakes, he would realize that for a lack of better term, he had done screwed up and nearly killed his comrades (Or a part of him, all the same anyway).

Truly at this point as he lies there in the Infirmary he is at his lowest point.]

[Visit him while he's unconcious? Or when he's awake, clutching at his head and struggling not to scream out in frustration and pain at everything that has happened.]

Comments

[world-in-an-egg.livejournal.com]

... I will wait longer if you would prefer that...

[vjockey.livejournal.com]

[Cheng seems to drift back into unconsciousness with those words. Yes. After that pummeling he really would prefer that.]

There is a letter on Cheng's bed stand in the hospital ward

[world-in-an-egg.livejournal.com]

Cheng,

I apologize for what has happened in these, our last days together. ... I attempted to heal your wounds so many times, but the changes do not seem to hold fast.

I have watched and listened; for my eavesdropping I apologize. When others came into the room, I simply faded out so they would not notice me ... your conversation with Miss Julia was most relevant.

Do not blame yourself, Cheng. Miss Julia's words are true, or at least mostly. This is not your fault.

I am not a teacher, Cheng, but I am put into positions where I must teach. It was only natural that I failed to teach you.

Yes, your actions drove me toward what I ultimately did, but that decision ultimately rested in my hands, and then ... quickly got out of my hands. If there is anything that is truly frightening about my power to me, it is that while others have difficulty manifesting it, I have such an easy time doing so that... I do so as naturally as I one breathes. It is moderated by me, but I cannot exactly say it is under my control. ... I lost control today.

But that was not you, Cheng. It was merely a fragment of you given form ... and it was a you without things that I considered unnecessary, made largely of passion, and volatility. We had spoken many times about honor; as of writing this, I still do not understood its meaning. ... however, I believe I may have some inkling of its importance now, for if there was one thing I most deliberately stripped from that fragment of you I gave form to, it was his sense of honor.

You may think that you had a choice in all this, but I urge you to remember when I first formed my contract with you. ... I took advantage of you, Cheng. Had we not contracted the people of this ship, possibly I myself (I do not know), would have died in re-entry. You had no choice, Cheng. I made an offer which you could not refuse.

Regretfully,
Maya?

Post Script

... I apologize for not waiting as I said I would ... as the hours went on I became more and more apprehensive, afraid that you would not want to see me anyway. ... if you wish to speak with me, you will find me, but otherwise, I will fade to the corners of your life. If you want any closure, to ask any more questions... I may be willing or able to answer them ...

... if you have read to this final words, thank you; I would have understood if you were to disregard myself and my messages. Once again ... I am so very sorry.

He has read it as of now.

[vjockey.livejournal.com]

[Despite what Maya would have thought, Cheng has indeed read the message through to its end. He remains silent. Thoughtful. He folds the note carefully and cleanly and places it at his side, resolving to talk to Maya... at least when he wasn't feeling half dead.]