That you are sweet

[zaku_for_xmas]

It seemed very serious; Zaku Kai was wrecked badly and now Bernie had to leave. He had his bags.

"What should I take?" Bernie's body felt heavy. It felt like a permanent parting from a diverse group of companions who didn't mind that he was a Zeon, and he also felt that he couldn't have a chance like this again.

"Thank you, White Chalice. Hm?" In his room, Bernie noticed something from the drawer -- those two interesting things that he bought way back.

"Yep, can't leave that." Then there's also a photo. Looked like a collector's item or something from a magazine.

Bernie was hesitant to pick it up. He took a moment to think, and then he nodded his head.

"I'll make it right," Bernie said, taking the photo. "Oh yeah!" Also another picture of a reliable friend.

Comments

[zetahatsudo]

Wiseman. [Kamille made the trip back for him (and his own stuff too). His stint with Axis was shorter, by far, but he was still Zeon, and he'd support his fellow comrade in arms.] What do you think you'll do, after this is over? [he had a box in his arm, his design tablet in the top, along with his old Zeon Uniform and some other paraphernalia.]

[zaku_for_xmas]

"Hi Kamille. That's a good question."

Looking at his bag, he thought about it.

"Is returning to Side 3 a good idea?"

[zetahatsudo]

I'm not sure myself. Much as Haman and Mineva mean to me... [His eyes fall upon a uniform that barely peaked out from under his Zeon ceremonial uniform.] When I joined Axis, it was because I wanted... a lot of things, really. I wanted power, certainly, enough to destroy the Titans, but I also wanted a cause to devote myself to. [He starts feeling nostalgic as he sits down on the bunk, and pulls out a uniform for a certain terrorist organization.] It was... before your time, but a while back, when I was still piloting the Mk-II, I offered to ally myself to Zero and his black knights. I was focused wholly on doing something with myself, it was like I had no will of my own.

[zaku_for_xmas]

"In the end, you want to do the right thing, right?"

[zetahatsudo]

[Kamille chuckles.] That's the thing though, I didn't want to make that decision myself. [He's staring at the wall now.] The adults in my life before the Chalice were bad people, and I had grown to be distrustful as a result. That kind of life is lonely though, and it made me desperate for acceptance, to be part of something. That despair led me to making some awful decisions at the start of my stay. My relationship with the witches was awful despite my efforts to befriend them, because I was sabotaging myself trying to reign in something that wasn't there. I ended up sending my girlfriend into a lesbian threesome because I fucked up when she needed stability. I even almost killed myself a few times just to end the pain.

It made me think, "I can't do anything myself, I need someone else to lead me." I thought I could find that in the Chalice proper, but the lack of structure and cohesion prevented us from even giving our collective a name. That lead me to Zero, and after he left, I ended up falling in with Haman and Axis, because they were the only ones willing to fight the Titans that made life for me and the colonists hell.

[His eyes are clearly haunted at this point as he stares at the wall.] Then Konpei Island happened. [oh god.] You don't know what's it like for a Newtype to feel that many lives just blink out at once, Bernie, and I pray you never have to.

? !

[zaku_for_xmas]

[Bernie looked at Kamille like he couldn't believe what he heard at first, but it was definitely a story that can put one in a trance. Maybe nothing he'd say would help?]

"Hey, nothing is your fault!"

[After hearing all of that however, Bernie puts his hand on Kamille's shoulder]

"Does this have to do with being an adult and such? Conviction is the first step. Sometimes we do stupid things because we're desperate. We rush when we do. I think we learned that plenty from who and what we fought so far, including our own forces -- the Zeon. Sometimes it ends in catastrophe.

Right now, Earth is in danger. I probably haven't 'felt' as much as you did Kamille but I had my share of pain, and I can't sit back and watch the Primeval Force destroy everything. That thing is not like you and I. It wants to wash out everything through destruction. Maybe it can't live without it."

[space_macgyver]

It's a hard thing to leave after so much time spent with the Chalice, huh.

[zaku_for_xmas]

"Yep. I've been through a lot. Learned a lot. Where are you going after this, Lowe?"

[space_macgyver]

A Junker's travel through space never ends! As long as ReHome's flying, I know what I'm doing!

Speaking of which, think Chris will let you stay at her place?

[zaku_for_xmas]

"Chris?" Bernie's eyes lit up.

"That is a good idea. I should visit her sometime. But I also wonder if I should return to Side 3. Hey, maybe you want a partner Lowe?"

[space_macgyver]

You're your own free man Bernie. Do what your heart tells you.

How good in mechanics and space salvage are you?

[zaku_for_xmas]

"Of course."

Bernie paused to think on the next question. "I have knowledge in...Zeon Mobile suit mechanics?"

[space_macgyver]

Good enough! If you want to stay around ReHome for a bit, I'm sure we'll find you things to do.

[not_the_deer]

Thinking what to take with you?

[zaku_for_xmas]

"Yep. I feel....I feel like I'm leaving something really important."

[not_the_deer]

Why not take everything you can, then? Except what belongs to other people, that is. Bring all the memories with you!

[zaku_for_xmas]

"What if it's a lot?"

[not_the_deer]

That's nothing. Have you seen how much stuff some people have?

[zaku_for_xmas]

"For...example?"

[not_the_deer]

Herb has two rooms full of furniture and junk. Do you think he's leaving any of it behind? Of course not! That'd be against the hobo code or something.

[zaku_for_xmas]

"...Wow. I guess some things are emotionally attached to you."

[not_the_deer]

Yeah. Don't leave any of those things behind. It's not like we don't have enough room to take everything; human things are tiny in comparison to Mobile Suit things.