Ninth Resurrection

[link_to_revival]

1.



[A certain someone's in the infirmary, weak but in a stable condition.  Her lungs, along with some of the more fragile muscles are pretty badly off but... to say nothing of the massive gash on the left side of her face that's taken her eye and forced me to flip the image because goddammit nothing can ever be easy in the world of using PBs and then finding out there's this awesome hospitalization pic of a character that goes great with what you had planned for them.

[It's not until hours after she's returned to the Chalice that her one good eye finally begins to open up.  Lights.  Ceiling.  The kind of pain that lets her know she's somehow survived the Izanami Virus...]



I'm... alive.

[No telling how long she'll be conscious.  But she's at least going to try to get something out before going under again...]

[Public video]

Everyone... thank you.

I don't know what happened out there after Typhon's attack but... we must've won, right?  Typhon and Takeda and everyone else've been stopped and it's just one less threat to worry about.

Neptune, Ichitaka, Richard... everyo-

[Aaaand coughing fit again.  Her lungs are still a mess, and her heartfelt video's going to have to be cut short.  Though you can still say something back to her, be it in person or by video!]

2.

[Public video]



[And on top of that, a new face onboard the Chalice!  Well, new face, old friend, because...]

Everyone, this is R speaking.

[In human form!  With an actual voice!]

I never thought I'd have to adopt this form, the gynoid recreation of Greta Wagner, again.  I didn't even think it would be possible.  As it so happens though, it turned out that it had survived the incidents at the Tritech Labs.  A mixed blessing, I suppose.  As much as I hate this body and the identity it represents, it can at least let me keep a closer eye on Lynn while she recovers.  Afterwards I'm just going to throw it in a closet and never even think about using it again unless I need it, which I someday might.

As for what happened out there, what I did?

I don't have any regrets.  In the end, Alice was just a weapon.  One that could talk and had a twisted equivalent of human feelings... but something that needed to be stopped.  And so that's exactly what I did.

Comments

[link_to_greta]

Yusuke...

[So much frustration right now.]

I know you wanted to believe in her. I did too. We've killed lesser monsters than her on the battlefield, and even in the end she hadn't given up fighting.

She wasn't begging for mercy or claiming she could change. She was trying to force her hands with a weapon. Not necessarily one she was holding but it was there.

[2000_skills]

But I saw it in her!
I saw that she had regret for what she did, that none of it was just her doing what she did lightly.
When I spoke to her, like a real person and not a machine, she seemed sincere to me- like she wanted to change but didn't know how to evolve.
And when she ran away with Caulder, she apologized to me.

If she really didn't care, would she have done all that?

[link_to_greta]

Maybe it was a genuine confession. Maybe it was just an act. Maybe she just gave up on herself in between then and the battle.

All I know is she had to be stopped. She chose to let her programming, rather than her own mind, control her. She chose to kidnap Caulder and leave the Chalice at the first opportunity. And she chose to work with Takeda and the others.

I wasn't just going to let that go unanswered.

[2000_skills]

And she had no chance to try. She didn't know how to overturn that programming. You talk like it's so simple just because you did it, but she can't live up to an expectation she doesn't know how to achieve! She wasn't a weapon, she was a person and a victim. One of unfortunate and unfair circumstance.

There had to be a better way.
But...you were going to kill her no matter what, because you didn't want to think of one.

[link_to_greta]

She could have been a person, but she squandered the chance. She squandered every chance. And she only grew worse in spite of everyone's efforts.

[So hard to not tell you the truth, Yusuke. It's REALLY FUCKING HARD. You're a cool guy, after all. BUT!]

I'm not disagreeing that she was a victim here, in fact she was the biggest. But Retroactive Existences and other high-level AIs can't simply be edited or have their programming changed with a few keystrokes; doing that's just killing the old AI and replacing it with a more preferable one. And "fixing" her that way's more horrid than just ending her, it's devaluing the mind of an AI, and speaking personally as one I wasn't going to let that happen.

Alice wasn't going to change of her own free will either. And there was enough blood on her hands... if we just let her live longer, she would've wound up killing more.

Yusuke, a person who did all of that... eventually no matter how mentally damaged they are, there comes a point when you can't justify letting them live. If you want to consider Alice a person, you have to accept this and not let her off on a technicality.

[2000_skills]

No, if it really is mental damage you can't just kill them outright.
Even if they never get better.

I can't....I just can't let this go.
I've seen more people die, people I've gotten to know, on the Chalice than I have anywhere else...and she's just one more on that list.
Just one more life I couldn't save.
It kills me inside. Little by little.

I'm sorry but this isn't something I can just push behind me.

[link_to_greta]

Then think about the people you did save out there: Lynn and Caulder. And think about everyone who'll be able to live now thanks to the Izanami Virus's adaptive powers being negated.

Yusuke...

[Frown and a sigh. Gah.]

Just because you don't know what their faces look like, doesn't mean the people through the world you've helped save don't mean as much.

Look at me. Prior till just hours ago, I was just text on computer screens. But I'm still grateful for what you did out there, going to Yggdrasill with us to stop Blitz Valhalla. Helping save Caulder.

[2000_skills]

That's not what I'm saying either. Of course I know all those people I haven't met, or have in my travels, doesn't mean I can't recognize the fact this was for the better.

People will live, no more have to die because of them. I get that. I know all about the responsibility of making sure the world is safe.

It doesn't mean I can't be sad, or feel for the greyness surrounding the evils we stop...I'm not going to stop fighting just because of that though.

...Sorry.

[link_to_greta]

I understand.

Grief's part of life. And grief can entail not knowing what to do with yourself after a crisis, and then growing guilty and hating yourself because you feel you have to do something.

Lynn struggled with that after the Icarus Bombing. I struggled with that when I finally learned Typhon's origin. And there's been countless times between that too.

All I can say... is if you consider Alice was a person, consider that she has a soul too. One that's in a better place now than it would ever find on Earth.

[2000_skills]

...of course.

I shouldn't have lashed out like that back then. Or now...

[link_to_greta]

It's fine. Emotions are powerful things. And honestly considering how much you wanted to believe in Alice, I'm grateful just getting punched by your white form was the worst of what I got from you.

[2000_skills]

I honestly wouldn't have punched you if I was anything else...

[link_to_greta]

And then your frustrations would've been even more pent up when we finally talked here. Fortunately they weren't, and we managed to reach some sort of understanding.

[A pause, and then a slight, anxious smile.]

We did, yes?

[2000_skills]

Pent up frustration is my thing. Or else I'd have blown up the world by now.

[awkward laugh]

Yes.