1 - A boy in the brig

[primalfanatic.livejournal.com]

[The surviving captured Disciple of Baphomet is in the brig and has been since the fight with them a week ago. He seems rather resigned. He eats and sleeps and exercises but doesn't do much else. He hasn't tried to escape, nor has he really complained.]

((OOC: Feel free to time your posts at any point after this log: warning: the log contains a somewhat graphic suicide.))

Comments

[primalfanatic.livejournal.com]

I don't know. I doubt I will be able to return home. I don't know where they are and I don't have an elemental to ride even if I did. And what else can I do? These bulkheads are stifling and anywhere else I go I will find the same thing.

[emorangerblack.livejournal.com]

So the answer is "succumb to despair", is it.

[Stated way too in-your-face to be a question.]

[primalfanatic.livejournal.com]

[His anger is sudden and primal, a crazed ferocity that belies the boy's previous despairing state.]

Well what do you WANT me to do? Break this cell wall? Fight my way out of here? Blow up the ship? That's what would be expected of me! But I know that would just get me pointlessly killed or thrown back in here again! So what?

[emorangerblack.livejournal.com]

Yes. Flail wildly in your frustration. Surely this proves your emotional maturity.

Is this what your cults expects of its members? To throw their lives away on a futile escape attempt if captured?

1/2

[primalfanatic.livejournal.com]

Of course not. What they expect is for me to blow up this technological abomination you call a ship even if I die in the process.

But I'm not stupid. I have no chance of succeeding, so I'd be throwing my life away for nothing if I tried.

2/2

[primalfanatic.livejournal.com]

Also... I don't really want to.

I think you guys want to do the right thing. Killing all of you would be a total waste.

[emorangerblack.livejournal.com]

What of this crew's intentions strikes you good enough to exert mercy and spare them?

[Completely neutral tone of voice, but for anyone who had to deal with Devon it's obvious she's being sarcastic. Because Devon.]

1/2

[primalfanatic.livejournal.com]

A couple of guys talked to me. They were pretty upset about what happened. They clearly cared deeply about what they were saying though, even if I didn't understand why. They thought they were doing the right thing.

2/2

[primalfanatic.livejournal.com]

How can I not give people like that a chance to change their ways?

[emorangerblack.livejournal.com]

Why would they? People with conviction that what they do is just are the hardest to convince otherwise.

[Devon speaks from experience here...]

Are you not one of them?

[primalfanatic.livejournal.com]

They are also the most important to change.

And I said right, not just. Justice is an arbitrary and largely meaningless human construction.

[emorangerblack.livejournal.com]

Human society is full of artificial constructs that do not even exist outside of a shared mentality.

What do you say is the difference between right, and just?

[primalfanatic.livejournal.com]

I suppose right isn't the best word, but there isn't a better one that I can think of. Right in this case means what is best rather than what is good. Though I am pretty sure most people consider those one and the same, even when they don't agree on the specifics.

[emorangerblack.livejournal.com]

The best. For everyone, for you?

For nature?

[primalfanatic.livejournal.com]

That's a hard question to answer. Wanting to do the right thing and doing the right thing are different and a lot of people think they are doing the right thing when they don't really know what that is.

[emorangerblack.livejournal.com]

Strength of conviction. You must believe that what you do is right.

No.

It must be right. Without it, personal power is meaningless. But without strength, your convictions do not matter either.

[Does Devon intend to get anywhere with this? Or does she just ramble taking advantage of a captive audience - pun intended.]

[primalfanatic.livejournal.com]

You're right on both accounts. But if you have conviction to do the right thing or power you are halfway there. Sometimes you just need the other supplied for you.

[emorangerblack.livejournal.com]

No.

[Devon turns away from the door, but Flynn can still hear her voice as she's just leaning against the wall next to the door.]

You cannot rely on others to supply power to you. This is not personal strength.
You have to reach it with your own very two hands. And nothing else.

[primalfanatic.livejournal.com]

You're wrong. There is no such thing as personal strength.

Without the world you stand on, without the other people and things around you, without something for it to act upon, strength doesn't exist.

[emorangerblack.livejournal.com]

No. It still exists - the difference is that you have nothing to use it on. But that matters not. To be strong and capable is its own reward.

[primalfanatic.livejournal.com]

[He shakes his head.]

Meaningless rhetoric. Never mind having something to act upon or be strong relative to, you would die if you were the only thing in existence.

[emorangerblack.livejournal.com]

Ha. Wouldn't that simplify things.

[These are Devon's parting words - not the best way to make a good impression.]