HeartYourMetalWolf (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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srwug_alpha_rp2013-05-04 02:16 pm
heartyourmetalwolf) wrote in srwug_alpha_rp2013-05-04 02:16 pm
Entry tags:
Who knows how long she goes before she burns away.
1] (post Resnick's death)
At the base of the wreck that had been the Prowler, Resnick's Timber Wolf, several empty bottles of vodka rolled about, beside several full ones and puddle of the noxious smelling liquor beside them. In the open cockpit, Adette had slumped down behind the useless controls, a bottle between her lips like a hungry infant. Every now and then she dumped a bit out on the ground, and cried again, completely uncaring of whom might be around. She had no shame in her mourning, and thought is was often quiet inside the cockpit now and then great painful cries would rise out of the timber wolf.
"You asshole. You fucking prices of shit. You weren't supposed to leave like this..."
2] (later that night)
Drunk beyond belief, Adette managed to slip out of the cockpit and onto the cold hanger floor only by discarding her heels all together. She stumbled from mecha to mecha across the hanger, leaning on whatever she could to keep herself up right. Her hair was a mess, and her face tried and red, the world spun around her, but she refused to be felled by it.
2)
"You look like a mess. We should get you out of here."
Re: 2)
"I am a mess." Adette leaned against Ranna heavily, with out a second thought. The clanner woman had got Adette home in worse situations, there was no reason to doubt her now.
Adette's face was hidden behind a curtain of golden locks, her chin tucked to her chest in defeat, as she grumbled and stupidly grip the other woman's jacket back.
But the feeling of the fabric only added into everyone in her drunken stupor. The same fabric as Resnick's.
"I can't do this."
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Ranna tries to guide Adette along gently towards her room. Best not to make a scene out in the open.
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"No I can't." She answered weakly, the alcohol doing much of the talking. "I know you guys don't care much when your friends die, but fuck-!" Her bare feet stumbled on the floor, and she gripped Ranna's tighter. "I fucking hate this place. I hate everything about it! I want to go home... but there's no fucking home go back to." The though of the Dompoli, crawling with clanners was no longer a welcome thought. She knew it would only lead her to remember the beautiful battle they had all fought there together, on the icy tundra. If she went there she would not live a single moment with out remember that.
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"We do care, we just handle it differently," she sighs softly. Then, after more words spill from Adette, "You still have friends, quiaff? Perhaps where they are can be where you consider your home to be?"
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She only half realized how pointed her words where at the time. There would be profuse apologies later from Adette.
"Just you." And that made her sad too, it was such a pathetic sounding thing to say. "And now you're all blood named or whatever- you're probably just going to get killed too." She hung heavily on Ranna's shoulder, closing her eyes tightly. "With out you two..." There would be no such place.
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"You know, gaining a bloodname also means that I am probably more qualified to survive events a non-bloodnamed may not."
It was said in light humor, even as she also meant it.
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"Gainer's a kid." She slurred, pushing her hair away from her face clumsily. "About as dense as lead. He's like my child than anything." Then she realized if she went back to her room Gainer would see her like this, and her red eyes went a bit wide. "Wait, I can't go back in there! I promised him I wouldn't-" Balance was eluding her, her ankles caught round them selves, and she all but fell over if it wasn't for her grip on her companion, and perhaps more so, on Ranna's grip on her. "Fuck I'm a mess."
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"Very well, my room then."
And they are on their way again, Ranna by her side smiling a little.
"It is understandable that you drink though. I would not say you are a mess because of that, just that you look like a mess."
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"I feel like a mess. Like there this big hole in the middle now..." Saved from having to face Gainer, Adette went a bit docile, the fire gone out of her words from the moment. "I wish I could be as strong as you." She bobbled drunkenly as she spoke, the cadence and volume of her voice rising and falling slightly now and then.
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"I have not face a loss so personal before, it is hard to say how I will respond, let alone someone for you to be 'as strong' as."
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"Yeah but it's always you carrying me. Hell, you stitched me back together once. I never have-ta help you out. You're like perfect 24 hours a days." She was babbling now, stupid thoughts that floated through her intoxicated mind at random. "I'm sorry. I'm being a bitch. I just can't deal with this. Just knowing I'll never get to run my fingers over his tattoos... God I'm an idiot. Fuck."
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Her hand that is resting on Adette's side squeezes lightly.
"Worry not, I am aware that you are drunk, and as such, you need not apologise, quiaff?"
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"I did... didn't I?..." That was enough to put her in her place, at least for the moment. "Are we there yet? If I don't sit down soon I might throw up." Adette was a pro-drunk though, there no need to worry about her vomiting on Ranna's boots accidentally. "Thanks. For this. For everything. You're a better friend than a pathetic drunk middle aged woamn like me deserves."
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Ranna unlocks the door as she helps Adette in, and to sit on the side of the bed.
"You may probably wish to lie down."
The Star Captain goes to the small refreshment table she has and pours a glass of water, before she hands it to Adette.
"From what I have learnt, friendship is usually not dependant on whether one or both parties are deserving of it, quiaff? Though in this case, I would think you do deserve it."
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Adette followed where she was lead, and sat down heavily on her bunk. She took the glass with a smile and chugged it down quickly, before setting the glass aside.
"You're amazing Ranna. I love you." It was said in the drunk 'I love you man' way, than a confession on hidden feelings. The fire of her pain had gone out, left smoldering and wet from her tears. By tomorrow the agony of loss would be reduced to ash, but the scars it left behind would not be easy for Adette to bare.
Numb and stupid fingers pulled off her ruined stockings, sliding them off before she pulled her feet up on the bed, and began fighting her blouse buttons with numb and stupid fingers.
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"Love you too, Adette."
She puts away the glass and then pulls a mattress from beneath the bunk, presumably for herself to sleep on. She does take a look at the other woman, to see if she has any success with trying to undress for sleep.
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stupid last night. sorry))
It was the vest that was proving difficult, the latches requiring more dexterity than she was capable off, apparently.
"Stupid fucking piece of shit," She grumbled under her breath at her vest, and then looked over at Ranna with the biggest puppy dog eyes she could muster.
((No worries!))
"I am half certain you will wake up with some embarrasement." A smile.
Re: ((No worries!))
"I'm very certain that is going to happen either way, and I'd rather not have to do it with my bra on." It wasn't as if they hadn't undressed in front of each other before.
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"I am not sure how that works, but if you say so..."
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Adette looked down at watched Ranna's hand undo her blouse an vest, she shook out of them clumsily, her elbow getting stuck in her sleeve as she pulled them off. She could feel the radiant warmth off the clanner's hands, being this close, the soft natural smell of her body. Adette's head spun a little, but it was pleasant and warm, she found herself looking at the other woman's hair, and before she knew it she was reaching out to touch her short locks.
"Your hair is pr~etty."
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A smile.
"I believe many culture prefer golden blonde, not to mention yours is long, quiaff?"
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"I don't know about preference, they come in all colors in Siberia. It was never my hair that caught the boys attention, it was these." She smirked as she unclipped her bra and pulled it off. The full weight of her breasts fell, and bounced. Now that scars on her side where visible, the very scars Ranna herself had hastily sewn up. Adette touched them, and the smile on her face shifted back to a frown.
"I'm such an idiot. I should have loved him when i had the damned chance..."
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"I believe you did, and he knew it."
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"Thought we would have... so much longer." Intoxication made it easy, Adette leaned forward into Ranna's shoulder, holding her own head up was getting difficult. It was funny how quickly Adette jumped emotions when she was this drunk. Certainly, shouting would have come next if she had the energy left for it still, though it seemed unlikely.
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"It can be strange sometimes here. We are so used to casualties in combat prior to the Chalice. Here, we very seldom do, perhaps that is why it seems you would have so much longer, quiaff? And it is perfectly understanable."
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Adette cracked a little cry, her forehead leaning sloppily against Ranna, she was in naught but her panties without even the slightest inkling of embarrassment even as it happened.
Ranna was right of course, Adette knew it, and nodded stupidly as she spoke. Truth or not it did not make the moment any less painful.
She closed her eyes tightly for another moment, but when she did she found the welcoming spinning sensation that to much Vodka always left behind. She knew if she staid like this, resting against Ranna, she would certainly pass out in a moment.
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The bloodnamed warrior pushes down Adette gently. "Do get some rest, quiaff? There is plenty of time tomorrow to be embarrassed."
She smiles wryly.
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Adette went easily, she sighed deeply once or twice, as if releasing the left over angst and pain that was gathered in her heart. Embarrassment, regret, and her impending hangover would all be there in morning, waiting for her to face. But for now she felt very close to being cried out, and was sure that by the time she awoke the string of Resnick's death would feel far away and she would carry on her life just as she had before.
Without clothes, and suddenly removed from the radiant heat of the other woman's body, Adette made a little sounds to show her chill but was quickly slipping into the spinning darkness of intoxicated unconsciousness.
"You're the best Ranna..." she whispered with her eyes closed, already one foot was in the dreaming world. "Dunno what I would do with you 'chu...."
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"Sleep well."
She places a kiss on Adette's forehead before retiring to her own bedsheet on the floor.
2
But, he knew Adette would take this terribly, and after giving her some space, knowing the usual routine; grief, drinking, shouting, more grief and/or drinking, then the stumble back 'home', Gainer went looking for Adette during that stumbling.
Of all places though, he found her in the hangar, and carefully made his way over to be the next thing she tried to prop herself against.
Re: 2
Adette reached out for what she was sure that the armored leg plates of a gundam, and instead found the jacket sleeve of someone else. She looked up and even in the spinning intoxication she knew who it was, and her stomach fell between her knees.
"Gainer..."
2
Strangely, it was good advice too, that wasn't even meant as advice at the time. Heck, it was questionable if it was even appropriate, but, it still sounded good. Walking on your own feet.
No, no, he shakes his head, that's not really appropriate here, so he'd leave it as literal; she had to walk too!
Re: 2
Her own bare feet. She righted herself, his head bobbling stupidly as she did.
"At moments like this Resnick would just come out of no where and walk me back to my quarters..." Her face pinched with another wave of tears. "That sonnova' bitch!"
Re: 2
Re: 2
Adette look at him, the water works already welling up and spilling down her cheeks, frowning sharply. She was about to yell at him, because this was her way, but she bit her tongue to hold it back.
"I'm pathetic." She put a hand over her face, and tried to steady herself on the cold floor. "I'm sorry, Gainer. I tried but I can't..."
Re: 2
"But you're a mess right now, so we're going back to our room. You can drink and cry there."
Re: 2
"He wasn't my boyfriend!!" She shouted now, unable to hold it back. But the flash of rage dissipated quickly." Resnick was my best friend..." It took her a moment to right herself on her feet again and set herself against the task of walking back to their quarter.
Re: 2
Losing a friend though, okay, yeah. That's pretty terrile. And of course Gainer has no words for it, so with that, he just supports the woman back to their room.
2
A fire, burning in a trashcan, consuming bits of cardboard, used cloth, and other flammable materials.
Crouching in front of it, arms wrapped around himself as if staving off cold, is Matthew, staring into the flickering flames like a Nova Cat.
Re: 2
Adette rubbed her eyes, this had to be an illusion of the vodka.
"Dude." She kind of yelled, her speech slurred stupidly. "You can't light a fire in a spaceship!" She knew she was wasted, but not that wasted.
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He resumes staring at the flames.
"The fire is welcome for you to share." He mutters sullenly.
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Adette's shouts caught in her mouth.
Well alright then.
If hanging around clanners for as long as she had had taught her anything is that they pretty much do whatever they want.
"Fair enough." She was to drunk to argue, leaning on the wall as she came closer, her bare feat stumbling on the cold floor. "If Dan gets mad, I'm blaming you." She said, standing over him. Intending to only pause a moment before continuing her drunk shamble back to her quarters, but this felt nice She had almost forgotten the years spent around trash can fires in the streets of Siberia as a young girl. Just as in space as it was in Siberia, that sometimes, no amount of flame could burn away the icy coldness in ones heart.
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Out in the frozen tundra of the training worlds, a fire was one of the few comforts a training Sibko could claim for themselves. Great fires, build to warm the hands of dozens upon dozens of brothers and sisters, joking, shoving, wrestling, teasing, cajoling, swapping stories as the flames crackled, impossible, fanciful stories...
It was around such a fire as this that Matthew had first mourned a slain trothkin. As he mourns Resnick, a whim suddenly comes upon him, a whim he had not indulged ever since basic training.
"Would you like to hear a story?" He asks Adette.
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Adette shrugged and tucked her skirt under her butt, sitting on the warmed metal of the deck plate neck the little fire. Fuck it, she was to drunk to give a fuck about much of anything. And honestly, it would be nice to cry this one out with someone else who was grieving over the same thing.
"Alright. But I'm going to lean on you a little bit ok? I'm pretty wasted." She leaned her shoulder against him, unabashed. She knew how meaningless this sort of touch was to clanners and felt no need for shame in it, especially at a time like this.
"How dose it begin?" Pulling her golden hair over her shoulder she began to comb it clumsily with her fingers while she waited to listen.