[11]

[better_than_aliens]

[If you look at the hangar, Christine's busy slumped over on a wall, looking like hell. This was the second time she sortied and ended up getting the short end of the stick. Even worse, this time, it lead to someone's death. Someone she knew and cared about on some level. Oh, sure, she wasn't as torn up about this as Laura certainly was, but still...]

Too weak, too slow, I let myself get the better of me... DAMMIT! What was I thinking?! I could have done something! Anything! Anything but what I did!

[She growls and buries her head in her hands.]

...What if that was Julia...? What if I couldn't have...?

Comments

[curse_u_reflexes]

[Sounds like you need a pick me up from your alien lesbian girlfriend, Christine. She's not looking very happy, but at the same time she's going to at least try to comfort you.]

... If that had been me out there, I wouldn't have held anything against you if you did everything you could.

And...

[She pauses, giving Christine a heartfelt squeeze.]

Lily still might be okay.

[better_than_aliens]

[Christine looks up at Julia before quickly scrambling to her feet, embracing her.]</i< I messed up... I really messed up...

[curse_u_reflexes]

Christine, we've...

Been over this before.

[Holding her close, Julia just tried to give her a reassuring pat.]

You weren't the only one out there, you don't need to blame this on yourself. Especially not with the Inspectors there like that.

[She can't help but clench a fist regarding that.]

They're the ones to blame for this. Not you.

[better_than_aliens]

I know... I know... but... gah! I can't help but feel bad either way. I shouldn't of attacked my copy like I did. I got cocky and I paid for it big time...

...they're getting stronger... real stronger...

[curse_u_reflexes]

And you helped save Kyoku. Multiple times even. And you saved Lily too. You're selling yourself short, Christine.

I'm not going to blame you for everything that went badly out there. Nobody's going to. So just... don't be so hard on yourself. Please.

[better_than_aliens]

...you're right, I am selling myself short here. I guess just watching everything got to me, I...

[she lets out a sigh, trying to calm down.]

[curse_u_reflexes]

I know. And I don't blame you for being upset about it... I just want you to not try to shoulder all the blame. I probably would be in a similar mood too if it'd been you out there, not me.

[better_than_aliens]

...yeah... and... I don't want it to come down to that. I really don't want to...

[curse_u_reflexes]

Then instead, let's just hope for the best. That Lily's friends from the Cosmic Ark can get her all patched up good as new and she'll be back safe and sound.

She wouldn't have sacrificed herself if she didn't think it would be worth it.

[better_than_aliens]

Yeah... yeah, you're right. [She sniffles a bit, then goes to wipe her eyes] Dammit, now I'm crying...!

[As if to counter it... or perhaps in spite of it... she starts laughing.]

[curse_u_reflexes]

[And Julia's just going to wipe those tears away before giving you a very brief kiss.]

No shame in that. But you do look better when you're happy.

[sonofgucun]

[Christine. Have a leader of the State of Gucun walk up to you and grip your shoulder. A little harder than he has to... but still.]

You did do something. Self Recriminations will not change what has already happened.

[Spoken from experience.]

Nobody on the field was prepared for what had occurred. Even if there were more of us, or we still had armament, we were still caught by surprise. There is no way of telling what could or could not have been.

[better_than_aliens]

[She winces at that grip. It got her attention, that's for sure.]

But, I feel like I should have done something a bit more. She was a friend. She helped me get settled in after I joined you guys...

[She let out a sigh as she starts to stand.]

I guess with everything that's happened over the month, this one... really hit home.

[sonofgucun]

It is a feeling that happens to everyone. But the crux of the matter is... could you really have done anything more?

One cannot become stronger or faster in the field instantly, that is an excuse that should never be used. Regard the realities of the situation.

[Cheng paused for a while... collecting his thoughts.]

We lost far too many friends... I pray we do not lose any more... and I pray that Lily comes back to us.

[After all... she is family - by way of Laura.]

[better_than_aliens]

[She lets out a sigh, nodding.]

...you're right. I can't just be better instantly. That just means I need to get better quicker.

...and you're right. We've lost far too many. Too many too much...

[emorangerpink]

Like what?

[better_than_aliens]

Something... a-anything! I... [she sighs a bit, shaking her head.]

...I'm sorry, Laura. She means so much more to you than me and I'm taking it like it was the opposite...

[emorangerpink]

Once the fight started, I don't think there's anything we could have done differently. The bomb was already there, the attack from the Inspectors came out of nowhere. Maybe if I'd been able to cut it out of her myself instead of waiting for Kyoku, or had found it in her check-ups...

In the end all that matters is that Winberrl got her in to stasis in time. Not that the wait for her to get back is going to be easy.

[better_than_aliens]

Yeah... she'll get better... hopefully.

But, what about you? How are you doing?

[emorangerpink]

She said to wait for her. So I'm waiting. I wish I could have gone with her, but...

I'm fine. I mean - I wasn't even scratched.

[girlfriend_dot_exe]

[There's a computer monitor talking to you now. It has a handy little pink line to show when it's speaking. It talks with the voice of a girl, Alice's voice.]

You could not.