I fill my lungs with fear and I exhale

[my-time2-shine.livejournal.com]

If you're looking for the hero that-almost-wasn't today, you'll find in medical ward.

Kensuke lays awake and stares at the ceiling for a long time, the weight of what happened today crushing down upon him. Sure, he had been in other battles before, but he had never stared death in the face like he did this time...
Aside from the heat exhaustion, and battered shoulders, his emotions where still in a state of shock. Kensuke was unsure what to think or feel after a day like that. HE knew he had done his job, albeit he had not done well, the Angel had still been defeated.

That's what was most important right?
The protection of everyone.
The Angel's defeat.

He rolled over and closed his eyes, trying not to left those moments in the lava play through his mind anymore. He needed a distraction, anything to take his mind of those flashes of memory he had long since banished from his mind.

Comments

[g4merqu33n.livejournal.com]

Why are you so depressed? You were the only one who could have pulled off that volcano job. You're a hero, you know, so you'd better start acting like it.

[my-time2-shine.livejournal.com]

(http://s861.photobucket.com/albums/ab173/GreybillGirls/Kensuke%20Icons/?action=view&current=kensuke004.jpg)

"A hero?" Kensuke sighed deeply. "I certainly don't feel like one." He had put others in danger, the rescuse effort nearly melted someone else mech, not to mention the millions of dollars that was spent on the crane that was also destroyed.
AND they didn't capture the Angel.

[g4merqu33n.livejournal.com]

Hmph, why not? You're the best Evangelion pilot aboard this ship, at present. Could you think of anyone else more qualified for that mission? Can you think of anyone else who would have even survived it?

[my-time2-shine.livejournal.com]

(http://s861.photobucket.com/albums/ab173/GreybillGirls/Kensuke%20Icons/?action=view&current=wounded.png)

"I'm the Only Evangelion pilot." This should have made his feel better, but in his current state of mind, it just made him feel worse. " So there really wasn't much choice. Only an Eva could have handled that dive but... It should have been Asuka, or Shinji. But they... they couldn't handle it here, they left. And now it's just me." He sighed and flopped backwards onto his pillow.
"If life were an anime, I would be the annoying side kick, not the hero." He closed his eyes for a moment. "I wasn't cut out to be the hero."

[g4merqu33n.livejournal.com]

Hmph. Don't think of it that way, idiot. Think of it as if you've gotten your own spin-off series. The fact that you stuck around mean's you've got something those other two didn't: Spunk.

Never did like that Asuka girl much, anyway. [Going after Char like that at her age...the nerve. She was much too old for his tastes!]

[my-time2-shine.livejournal.com]

(http://s861.photobucket.com/albums/ab173/GreybillGirls/Kensuke%20Icons/?action=view&current=tumblr_lhi241FdkD1qdn8w2o1_500.jpg)

When she talked about Asuka... did Cynitha know how much she sounded like the red headed devil? Kensuked cracked a smirk at that thought.
She could be right... after all, are we not all the hero's of our own stories? And here the part of Asuka was being replaced by a cute girl with pink hair. Just as blunt, but 50% less bitchy. An improvement, certainly.

He sat back up and pushed up his glasses.
"Spunk, huh? No one ever really put it like that before." He nodded as if he was thinking hard about it, stroking his chin.

"You're right. I guess a hero has to take his lumps sometimes. And... now that I've faced my death once... I don't think I will be as scared of it anymore. It really... wasn't so</i? bad... I guess."

[g4merqu33n.livejournal.com]

Much better. As long as you don't die, you can keep continuing, right? Tougher challenges just level you up faster, so don't be such a scaredy cat. You're the only one capable of piloting that EVA, just as I'm the only one who can handle Dominator. So take some pride in that!

[She's got a cute smile on her face, a thought flashing through her head.]

Hey, when you're out of here, meet me in the Sim room. I'd like to see just what fighting against that AT field is like.

[my-time2-shine.livejournal.com]

(http://s861.photobucket.com/albums/ab173/GreybillGirls/Kensuke%20Icons/?action=view&current=553029-Kensuke_AidaNeon_Genesis_EvangelionShinji_IkariToji_Suzuhara.jpg)

"What?" Kensuke nearly fell over.
Was a GIRL really asking him to.... spend time together?
He swallowed the lump in his throat
"S-sure." His voice cracked as he said it. "That would be cool! My AT isn't that strong, admittedly it's my weak point. That why I have the physical shield too. To uh... compensate."

[g4merqu33n.livejournal.com]

As long as it never gets crushed, you've got nothing to worry about. Maybe having me wail on your AT field will help you with it's stamina.

[It's hard to tell if she's teasing or not, either way, she's enjoying this conversation entirely too much.]

[my-time2-shine.livejournal.com]

(http://s861.photobucket.com/albums/ab173/GreybillGirls/Kensuke%20Icons/?action=view&current=tumblr_lxa1inFcOY1r5ra4yo1_500-2.png)

Kensuke was oblivious to the innuendo, but was excited about the prospect.
"I guess taking a simulated beating might actually be good for me." Kensuke had no qualms about his imperfect skills. "I look forward to getting beat by you! I'll do my best to learn from the experience." And though his eyes still showed the darkness that was receding into his heart, he grin stupidly.

[g4merqu33n.livejournal.com]

There you go again, idiot! I mean, yeah, you're gonna lose, but you don't have to look forward to it. It's no fun if you don't at least TRY and win.

[my-time2-shine.livejournal.com]

(http://s861.photobucket.com/albums/ab173/GreybillGirls/Kensuke%20Icons/?action=view&current=smile.jpg)

"A man learns more when he fails, then when he succeeds." Kensuke punctuated this by pushing up his glasses, and smirking ever so slightly.