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srwug_alpha_rp2011-12-21 11:49 pm
my-time2-shine.livejournal.com) wrote in srwug_alpha_rp2011-12-21 11:49 pm
Entry tags:
Down in the dumps
Things just couldn't see to go right for Kensuke lately. Shinji and Asuka had left, or disappeared, or been relocated, he wasn't sure. And the fact that he hadn't seen battle in a while only made it worse. He had so easily fallen into his old habits of being, and staying alone. He didn't really know how to seek out others, and the longer he didn't talk to others, the harder it became to try.
He found himself sitting on the bridge before Eva Unit 04, staring at it as if he expected it to speak to him or something.
Maybe he did, maybe he didn't, either way this kid needs some cheering up.
" If Shinji and Asuka couldn't cut it, what make me so much better?" He sighed aloud, and longed to run and hide in the woods, with this tent, and his toy guns, and his imaginary army. They never turned their backs on him...
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If you aspire to be strong, all you must do is set your mind and body to the task. I have seen the effort you have displayed in training.
[Cheng wheels himself closer and puts a hand on his student's shoulder.]
All you need to do is take the fight to the enemy as best as you can. The rest will come easily.
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"Sir... What do you do when the enemy, is yourself?" He wrung his fingers together nervously, feeling stupid for asking such a question.
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But if you mean it in a less literal sense... then I would say for you to take comfort in your comrades. Even if you do not believe in yourself... you know they will believe in you. Take strength in the confidence they have in you.
They will carry you when you when you need it the most and help you back up when you fall.
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"Not a copy at all." Kensuke slumped unceremoniously to the floor, sitting cross legged in front of Cheng's wheelchair. He sighed deeply, obviously fighting an inner battle with himself on weather to open himself and share, or stay closed tightly in his shell.
If a man could not share with his mentor, his superior officer who could he share with?
"I mean... before I knew Toji... I never had any friends, and after my mom died my dad was station at the NERV base in Nevada. I was always alone. Toji pretty much forced me into friendship with Shinji by befriending him himself. I liked Shinji, and Asuka, Especially Asuka, but even they never felt like... real friends... I... I don't know how to form this comradely everyone seems to be telling me I need to find. I just feel like I don't belong here at all."
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[Yes, Cheng is referring to the L-Boat. You know? The time you slam dunked a Festum into an Angel?]
And though you say you do not know how to form it, you've already forged several bonds.
You just need to come out of your shell to see them properly.
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It was the same circles, over and over. Everyone's answer was to just get over it. But if he could do such a thing he would have done it by now. But maybe he was look at his frustrations with others as a whole all wrong, maybe what he really needed was ...
"Well then... how do I make Dita like me? Like, ya know, like me-like me? We hold hands but she always keeps me at a distance, I don't know what I should do..." He looked a little pitiful when he asked peeking over the rims of his huge glasses.
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[True for the second part, LIES for the first. He helped Shirley and MarKus get together didn't he?]
I suppose the best thing to do would be to talk to her a little more. Try to be there as much as you can for her. Make your interest clear, but do not push to hard.
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