Second Strike of Lightning

[lightning-1.livejournal.com]

[1]
(Fate is standing before the tube which holds Bardiche with a hollow look on her face. Because she wasn't strong enough Bardiche got this damaged. She was also reckless in pushing herself and Bardiche so hard during the battle. Fate walks up to the tube and puts her forehead and  clinched  hands on it. Silent tears start to fall down her face.)

Bardiche...I'm so sorry....

[2]
(Fate is out on the observation deck with a distant look in her eyes. If you approach her you will see that she hasn't even noticed you yet. Her eyes are puffy, she obviously has been crying.)

(What do you do?)

Comments

[lightning-1.livejournal.com]

(After a few seconds Fate looks at you slightly but she doesn't say anything.)

[chozo_girl]

What happened?

[It's obvious that Samus is referring to whatever happened out there. But even though she wasn't in the sortie, and reports have been a bit sketchy until now, she seems more interested in what Fate thinks about what happened than the facts themselves]

[lightning-1.livejournal.com]

We...I failed today. Gato got away with a Gundam armed with nuclear missles, people got really hurt, and Bardiche got hurt badly. If only...If only I was stronger.

[chozo_girl]

["If only I was stronger". That sounds *awfully* too familiar to Samus... and probably not a good sign]

What was your mistake, then?

[lightning-1.livejournal.com]

I was reckless. I rushed in and used too much of my power without considering Bardiche's condition...and because I was so reckless I couldn't fight anymore at the end and Bardiche is hurt.

[chozo_girl]

I see. Bardiche is the sentient axe in the repair bay, correct?

[Samus appears to think for a moment]

Did your intervention save more people than would have been without?

[lightning-1.livejournal.com]

I don't really know...I think so.

[chozo_girl]

[Samus nods. Then she looks upwards, at the sky, through the observation glass, and sighs. Father always was a lot better at this. She's just not good with words. But she remembers failure too well to just go away here]

Such is the uncertainty of battle, yes. But your Bardiche, at least, certainly seems to think so.

[Samus looks at Fate, and sits down, so as to be on roughly the same height as Fate, and lays a supportive hand on her shoulder. Samus's supportive serenity may be a bit comforting, if nothing else]

You have the markings of a warrior. You try to take more burden than you earned. But there is a thin line between accepting one's responsibilities and attempting to carry blame for what could not have been known. Down that way lies madness. [And there's something in Samus's frank eyes that says pretty clearly she's not talking hypothetically, here. She seems to understand from experience...]

[lightning-1.livejournal.com]

But I am responsible for a good amount of this. I knew that I wouldn't be able to act well after I used the Phalanx Shift but I did it anyway. Also, I forced Bardiche to push harder then he needed to just to use the Phalanx Shift. As a good partner I should have consulted him but I didn't.

[chozo_girl]

Why did you do it, then? Did you believe it would be enough to end the fight, or at least leave the enemy so weakened your teammates wouldn't have trouble finishing him?

[The second part makes Samus look at Fate with steely eyes, and shake her head]

If you had refrained from trying your best merely for his safety, he would hate you now.

[lightning-1.livejournal.com]

I was tired from blocking a hail of bullets from hitting Nanoha and I thought that if I hit him with everything I had I could stop him...But I pushed too hard. I didn't have enough to do the Phalanx Shift by myself. So...I got Bardiche to help him...I didn't think of my or his limits...that is my failure.

[chozo_girl]

You did what you believed the best and turned out to lack information, then. You thought it would be enough to stop him - and if it had been, it would have won the battle right there. It would have been worth it.

[Samus sighs, and talks again, in a slightly softer tone]

"What if", "I could have", "I should have known"... these are not useful phrases for a fighter. Everyone can formulate a good plan after the battle. It easy to theorize once you have all the data. But while in the battle, you never do. You have to decide on what you know, and you can not blame yourself if the best decision at the moment turns out to not be due to other factors.

Even if you choose to believe nothing else from what I have told you today, remember that at least.

What you took was the correct tactical decision with what knowledge you had. If you had not done it, you would now be blaming yourself for not doing so, wondering if maybe it would have been enough and you could have prevented what came next.

[Samus is a veteran, after all, and she knows full well how a battlefield works. Hindsight is 20/20, but only useful for self-nullifying.]