Piraten Möbel

[inneedofasmoke.livejournal.com]

[Ever since the attack on the Chalice by the Space Pirates, Luger had sought out yet another hidey hole. He has now recently come back out into the open with... some grisly looking things.]

Guten Tag Mein Freund!

May I interest you in some furniture?

[Well... its.... well. That would explain why some of the bodies of the Space Pirates were.... missing things. Luger used their corpses to make furniture with after cleaning them up.]

[He's made footstools, chairs, side tables, even a rather creepy looking clock. (Essentially an ordinary clock punched through a pirate's head with fake googly eyes moving back and forth.)]

[Ask him what the bloody hell is wrong with him?]

Comments

[fermionprincess]

Ah, what fine handiwork! I did not expect you to be a man of so many talents, sir Luger.

[inneedofasmoke.livejournal.com]

Well I did need to make a living. Cigarettes and Medicine don't come cheap, and I couldn't get everything on a militiaman's salary.

[Luger cleans off the seat of one of his hand made chairs and kicks his feet onto a footstool made of feet.]

[saikyocivrobo]

You have issues.

[inneedofasmoke.livejournal.com]

Mein freund I don't have issues... Issues have me. There's a difference.

Now would you like a cage for that annoying robot of yours?

[He holds up the... thing with a grin and waves it around. It looked pretty sinister.]

[saikyocivrobo]

I'm not that kind of scientist.

Is this supposed to be a step up from the porn? Don't tell me people buy this too.

[inneedofasmoke.livejournal.com]

But its furniture. Made from Space Pirates! Who WOULDN'T want to buy it?

[Lots of people obviously, but Luger doesn't know that.]

[saikyocivrobo]

People who don't like the idea of sitting on a sentient being? Besides, if it wasn't tanned properly, the smell in a few weeks is going to be awful.

[inneedofasmoke.livejournal.com]

Meh I'm sure I got it right.

[Luger waves his hand in boredom.]

Besides. These things aren't sentient. They kill everything and look for pipes.

[saikyocivrobo]

That's smarter than some of the people on this ship.

[gudbye_despair]

*Elena is hugging a well-used knife and looking very elated.

Senior Luger... You... always... have the best ideas...

[inneedofasmoke.livejournal.com]

I know!

[Luger claps his hands together eagerly.]

Now if only we could find more of these dummkompfs I could have a steady supply!

[gudbye_despair]

But these space pirates don't visit often though.

[inneedofasmoke.livejournal.com]

Then we're going to have to look for substitutes until we find more pirates!

[gudbye_despair]

I heard we have some permanent space pirates residents in this ship

[zetahatsudo.livejournal.com]

[already fishing through his wallet upon seeing the clock.] I believe Lady Kahn will find such a thing to be useful. How much for the clock?

[inneedofasmoke.livejournal.com]

Twenty, and a box of cigarettes. If no cigarettes then triple that.

[Luger's giving you the evil eye Kamille. He still remembers the Broom to the head.]

[zetahatsudo.livejournal.com]

[Kamille's giving it right back, he gets flashbacks from the hallucinations sometimes from that bite of yours.]

[Sixty, and the cigs are set on the counter.] I'm not looking for trouble, Amwulf. Just here to buy my boss something nice. [Because furniture made from your enemies corpses is considered nice, apparently] Keep the extra, consider it a peace offering.

[inneedofasmoke.livejournal.com]

Sure thing Girly Man...

[Luger's looking through everything to make sure its Legit before giving Kamille the clock. The alarm on it rung - and those googly eyes spun wildly.]

Hah!

Luger....

[blackguard-x2.livejournal.com]

....More of your grisly work?

[inneedofasmoke.livejournal.com]

Yup! It's going to be a fad-...

Hey... you're a space pirate right?

[Luger's looking creepily at you Zabine.]

Hell no!

[blackguard-x2.livejournal.com]

"I...am a member of the Crossbone Vanguard. I'm not a pirate."

Stickin' to the aristocratic ways.

[inneedofasmoke.livejournal.com]

Weird... you've got an eyepatch, crossbones and such... I figured you'd be a pirate....

Maybe I can use pirate substitutes?

[He's scratching his head now as he's pondering. Zabine you may want to creep away as fast as you can now.]

[blackguard-x2.livejournal.com]

"That's too much of a widespread culture entity. Would that make you a pirate because of your eyepatch? These monsters don't wear one."

Zabine raised his eyebrows.

"Substitute...?"

[inneedofasmoke.livejournal.com]

Yep! If I can't find literal space pirates, I'll need something close to it... I dunno... has to be really single minded. Something people won't think is really 'alive'.

[blackguard-x2.livejournal.com]

"I'm afraid I can't help you there. What you have is enough..."

Zab's eye narrows.

"Or rather...it's too much. Why not even clean this up?"

Surprise!

[infinite_rabbit]

[It's Laura's first time back aboard the Chalice in months. She's actually just left the hangar and is still in that skintight IS suit of hers. And of all the people she could run into...]

You...

[Between disbelief and disgust is where she is in this situation. Of course, it didn't really surprise her that Luger got better after the last time she saw him.]

[inneedofasmoke.livejournal.com]

Welcome back madchen!

[And Luger's laughing at your general direction Laura, he's waving you over and pulling over a... you THINK its a chair.]

Come have a seat!

[infinite_rabbit]

It looks like you've at least regained your sense of humor.

[Approach she does, but she doesn't sit. Gonna stare at that 'chair' instead. Was that really made out of...]

...What is this?

[inneedofasmoke.livejournal.com]

Its a space pirate chair! I made it from dead aliens that tried to murder everyone!... They also stole a lot of pipes and some woman's pet. But meh. Who cares about that.

[He shrugs at that.]

[infinite_rabbit]

I'll pass. [Quick answer.]

More importantly, is there anything else I should note about the state of the ship and the crew?

[Probably the worst person to ask, but it's not like she had a lot of other acquaintances around...]