A prison for Shifters

[emorangerblack.livejournal.com]

[Surprisingly for very few people actually familiar with Devon, her attitude regarding food rationing and obeying rules in general left her in a holding cell. She'll be there for a while - so if you're concerned about her feeling sad or lonely, by all means come visit!

Extra consideration: Devon's amplifier is gone so no Shifter shanenigans or summoning armor this time. At a first glance, she doesn't look too concerned about this, or pretty much anything at all. Too busy leaning against a wall opposite to the entry door.]

Comments

[fearless-coward.livejournal.com]

Are they? What does sentience really get us? After we have used our sentience to blow up the world, cockroaches will still be skittering around as normal surviving off of whatever we leave behind. I've seen what sentience wrought. I was three years old when colonies fell and the world as I knew it ended. Now people fight for survival, in a world which lacks the resources to properly sustain them.

While cockroaches are plentiful. They skitter around, probably oblivious to the world, and yet, for all the world has changed, their part in it remains the same.

In that light, can you truly say they are meaningless?

[emorangerblack.livejournal.com]

Whatever humans or other sentient beings decide to do, be it utter obliteration of themselves or the world around them...

This is a conscious decision, therefore it is the one that matters. An animal skittering around is like the laws of gravity drawing two objects together - something that may be important or not, but not praiseworthy anyway. Because praise is wasted on those who cannot hear or understand it.

[Not that Devon would praise anyone. She seems to get into this discussion of beliefs, though. Almost like if she wasn't imprisoned or anything.]

[fearless-coward.livejournal.com]

What do you think is praiseworthy?

[emorangerblack.livejournal.com]

...

[Devon had similar questions aimed at her before, but never so directly.]

The ability to choose and act on your own. Judging by your individual sense of morality, rather than instinct or social conventions.

[fearless-coward.livejournal.com]

And when other's disagree?

[emorangerblack.livejournal.com]

Then there is a conflict of interests. A wise man said, that those who exist outside of social structures are either beasts - or gods.

Should a god decide to act in a certain way, even if the act hurts others, even if it hurts me - I cannot blame him. I can oppose him, but not blame.

[fearless-coward.livejournal.com]

I think those are not the words of a wise man, but the words of a fool. You cannot exist outside of social structure, even beasts must bow to those more powerful than them. Even gods are only gods compared to those less powerful than they are.

[emorangerblack.livejournal.com]

If a god tries to force me to bow, I will grow more powerful than him. Best him, or destroy him!

[Suddenly angered, or perhaps willing to make a dramatic point - one way or the other Devon punches the door, as if expecting it to swing open. It doesn't.]

[fearless-coward.livejournal.com]

[AIdan is entirely unphased.]

But what if said god instead bows to you? Even though it could wipe you out of existence with a thought? What then?

[emorangerblack.livejournal.com]

That's even worse.

It means I exist because of his mercy. Or pity. I need neither.

[fearless-coward.livejournal.com]

Better to have pity and mercy than to be dead.

[emorangerblack.livejournal.com]

Technically, yes. But such a feeling would be unbearable.

[fearless-coward.livejournal.com]

If you feel that way, that's your doing not anyone else's. You keep talking about how you praise choice, so choose not to feel unbearable because you have pity and mercy from others. Because right now I do pity you. And not because I think you are weak. I pity you because I don't think you understand strength.

[emorangerblack.livejournal.com]

If you believe I do not understand strength, then by all means.
Enlighten me.

[That last sentence? Spoken in a very cold tone.]

[fearless-coward.livejournal.com]

Strength is the application of power towards a given goal. I would not feel weaker because a god decided to destroy me where I stand. But I would feel stronger than any god whom I convinced with words that I was worth keeping alive. Sometimes a bullet is not the best way to win a fight, sometimes the best way to win a fight is to ensure there isn't a fight to lose. Choosing not to pull the trigger, is often more difficult than choosing to fire.

[emorangerblack.livejournal.com]

Strength is not just raw physical power. One can have a strong moral backbone, or be skilled in other area. That is true - and all of these kinds of strength are welcome and necessary.

Words, however, are ephemereal. You say them out loud and then they are gone. A persuaded individual can always change their mind.

[fearless-coward.livejournal.com]

Miss with a bullet, you might as well not have fired it. Words are the same way. They have as much strength as their user properly wields them. If they change their mind, it means you missed your target.

[emorangerblack.livejournal.com]

... Possibly.

[Why so untalkative all out of sudden?]

1/2

[fearless-coward.livejournal.com]

[Aidan smiles at her. He doesn't know her well, but he does know that getting her to even consider changing her position is a feat.]

2/2

[fearless-coward.livejournal.com]

But there is another kind of strength.

I recently failed entirely at my job, protecting all the people I care about. I only survived because of sheer luck. Over a hundred people are dead, and it was my job to protect them. I wasn't strong enough then.

But what's done is done. I can spend my time obsessing over my failure, or I can move on. It's not easy, it hurts a lot. Sometimes I cry myself to sleep, other times I stand on the deck staring at the stars wondering what I should be doing, sometimes wondering what they would think of me or be doing if they were still alive. But I don't spend time worrying about what I could have done differently. Or at least, when I start to, I decide to stop.

Which is what I am suggesting to you, if you start to feel the unbearable feeling you described, decide to stop. It's not always easy, but that's why it requires strength.

[emorangerblack.livejournal.com]

...

[There is no response except for long silence. Devon has to mentally digest everything that was said now. Or maybe she just believes there's nothing else to say.

Who knows?]